His Last Dollar
Young Hank took Miss Bird into the cafe, with one silver dollar in his pocket. There were some nice large glasses of beer to be obtained for five cents, but this she spurned, for the menu of that day was very alluring. It was aristocratic food, not plebeian drink she desired, and so she starts to order. Surprised groans from Hank. But the worst is yet to come. Several friends of Miss Bird appear. "Why, boys! You're just in time to join us." Hank (sotto voce), "And I only have a dollar." The meal is over; the boys have departed regaled and poor Hank is longer and leaner than ever, but the bill presented him, while long, is by no means lean. "And I only have a dollar." The dollar the waiter takes as a tip, and Hank's watch and pin are left behind to liquidate the bill. Not only that. On leaving the cafe. Miss Bird meets a gentleman friend and shakes Hank unceremoniously. As Hank views their forms fading in the distance, he murmurs, "I shall hie me to the lemon grove where I belong." He does.
