The Fable of What Transpires After the Wind-Up

Once upon a time there was a Male Vampire named Ferdinand, who was in love with Adele, a sweet Thing fresh from an Eastern Reform School. When he spoke those three words winch hold all records for Monosyllabic Trouble-Makers and was accepted, Ferdinand had a Hunch that somebody was about to drop Cyanide into his Cup of Joy, because, although Adele had no positive Proof Ferd had carried on with an Oriental Brunette working in a Musical Comedy, it was common talk that his Uncle had been a Regular at a Retreat where the Doc shoots a Precious Metal into the Arm. Ferdinand beat it to his Club to Spring the Glad News. A He-Hen named Herbert called aside and planted a few Thistles in the Garden of Love. Adele and Ferd suffered Miles apart, through many Dinners Decreed by Custom. Then came the Big Day. They propped Ferd up, told him his Name and begged him not to Weaken. He saw a Haggard Creature advancing toward him. They did not hear any of the service, but were afterward told it was a very Pretty Wedding. Moral: Married men are not sent to war. They have suffered enough already.