Big Bad Wolves

Four mobsters sit in a diner, late one night, and listen to a fifth explain to them that the fairytale "Little Red Riding Hood" is actually all about the importance of teaching children sex education. He then regales his captive audience with the 'authentic', 'uncensored' version of the tale where Red is sent off to see the Wise Woman Of The Woods (an unseen witch-like grandmother) who will teach her sex education because her own mother is too embarrassed. Because she enters the woods without learning the dangers that await her, she meets the Wolf - a handsome prince-like man who is secretly a shape-shifting man-eater. The rest of the tale plays out as per normal except the Woodcutter doesn't make his entrance (because he was added by the Brothers Grimm to facilitate a happy ending) and Red is raped and then ripped to pieces by the Wolf. The Gangsters wrap up their evening and, utterly depressed, get ready to leave when the storyteller quips: "Did I ever tell you what really went down between Goldilocks and those Three Bears?" The Gangsters reply "no, what?" and the storyteller sets off on another tale...