The Criminally Inept

Sage Andreola is a low-rent criminal has no real passion in life, a good looking, twenty something of mixed descent spends his time bumming around with a gang that are just plain bad at what they do. Unmotivated and unshaven, he learns that his ex-girlfriend (who he still may be in love with) is getting married to a man twice her age. His dreary mood and world he knows are radically altered after Sage told by his boss directs him to meet Jamie Vanderwall, his new confident, performance art-loving, lipstick-aficionado partner in crime at The Contemporary Art Museum, where she has a new 'exhibit'. Sage soon learns that what she exhibits is a little more than he bargained for, but because Jamie is touted to be a 'top-notch thief', she calls the shots as they attempt to rob her friend Franz. Franz is a rich man who's dedicated his life to saving endangered animals, however he is a bit strange and mad. Franz's plan is to 'rescue' two sea turtles from Sea Life Park by stealing them; a plan Franz thinks Sage and Jamie are in on. After stealing Franz's jewelry, the pair assumes they have it made, until Jamie realizes she made a fatal mistake, forgetting her cherished lipstick at the scene of the crime. From here chaos ensues, with wild chases, far-flung island adventures, and eventually returning to the scene of the crime with a hold-up and the rescue. As fate and inherent eccentricities intertwine, Jamie may be just the woman to turn Sage's head around and help him overcome the biggest obstacle yet. With a couple days before the wedding, will Sage attend?