12 Ways to Say I'm Sorry

In this mock informational documentary, Canadian host Will Ferguson explains that there are different cultural connotations to the phrase "I'm sorry" so one must be careful in its use not to provide the wrong meaning. He goes on to explain that in Canada, there are twelve different meanings for the often thrown out off the cuff term "sorry", including the occupational sorry, the subversive sorry, the supercilious sorry, the sexual sorry, the counterfactual sorry, the intellectual sorry, the sympathetic sorry, and the unrepentant sorry. But in reality, do any of these sorry's actually mean "I'm sorry" in the literal sense? In other words, is there actually an authentic sorry in Canadian vernacular?