Slappy and Sparky, two clowns in the Big Boss's propaganda machine, come to blows over their loyalty to the system-and each other-when Slappy decides he's done twisting balloons and juggling for a "fascist lunatic." Slappy is tired of clowning to distract the crowd from the Boss's disturbing ideas, but Sparky loves their righteous boss, and takes it upon herself to correct Slappy with a plastic bat whenever he engages in Boss bashing or any other "sin." Slappy quickly gets sick of being whacked, and the war begins. When Sparky finally confesses that she doesn't understand how people are supposed to behave, Slappy explains his theory about morality existing on a sliding scale. A momentarily confused Sparky figures out that Slappy's theory is all lies, and she takes matters into her own hands-with a bright, shiny aluminum bat. Slappy's Sliding Scale asks how people are supposed to behave morally when their leaders have no morality.