Sperm Boat

A young, enthusiastic cop gets the job of his life: loss-prevention officer on an enormous cruise ship, Song of America. And immediately regrets it. He was expecting travel to beautiful destinations on a spectacular and floating resort, but instead he's a Boat Cop on a trashy cruise ship staffed by criminals and piloted by an insane Scandinavian captain who sets a course for the most ridiculous sci-fi adventures imaginable that also involve midnight bacon buffets.